February 22, 2008

Love/Friendship??

Posted in CET, Friendship, Love at 11:25 am by Krishnadev

            Ok, so we’ve been getting a lot of free hours in college lately and guys as we are, the lathiyadi often comes back to the same topic… Love, Friendship and how these 2 are related. When exactly do you love a person? When do you have a crush on someone? Is this crush just an infatuation? Is love and infatuation one and the same? Is love friendship? Or is friendship love? All of these are questions we asked each other a million times, answered to each other a billion times and still, we saw ourselves as confused as we were at the start, if not more.

Almost all fairy tales talk of how a handsome prince met a beautiful princess, fell in love with her at first sight and lived happily ever after. But is finding love exclusive to just the handsome and the beautiful?? Or is it the prince and princess part that makes them so lucky? I, for one person have never heard of a couple who’ve simply found love and ensured that their love is immortal. If at all anyone ‘finds’ love, it lasts just for a short period. And since it lasts only for a day/month/year, it’s not love. People may ‘love’ each other just to show in public but love’s not a showoff! If it is just for showoff, it definitely isn’t love. I’ve seen guys walking with their ‘loves’ and ‘crushes’ around the entire college campus, not just so that they could talk but also to put up a charade in front of others. To kinda show others, ‘See, this is my girl!’ It’s this fake affection that gives them away.

Love, for me, is not a showoff. Neither is it a pastime or a game. Love is not something you feel immediately upon seeing someone. It’s not something that’s hidden and waiting to be discovered. Neither does it spring out of nowhere nor does it simply happen between 2 people. Perhaps that’s why they use the phrase, ‘making love’. Because love is to be created, nurtured and brought up with hard work, a lot of adjustments and definitely infinite reserves of patience. And in this sense, college love is simply not love. In fact, even when you marry someone, you do not love her/him. Love’s perhaps that which exists between a grandpa and a grandma sitting in a park and sharing an ice cream. Or between the grandpa who has one hand on his walking stick and the other on the hand of his love, while crossing the road. Perhaps that is love. Something that has evolved over so many years of living together, adjusting, making mistakes, disagreeing, quarrelling, reconciling and again adjusting. Perhaps, that is love, when one can understand each and every emotion of one’s love. When you no longer need to tell each other, “I love you”. When you no longer need to buy gifts for Valentine ’s Day to reaffirm your sincerity. When the element of doubt and suspicion have completely been eliminated. Perhaps, that truly is LOVE.

But is that all that Love is? I mean, you do love your brother, your sister, your mother, your father and your friends! You love your parents and your siblings because they’re always there for you. Because they’re the ones you share everything with before anyone else. And friends… Friends are the people who you trust, who you believe and who are true, sincere and honest to you till the end. As we grow up, the group with which we share our most intimate secrets and stories switches from our relations to our friends. We share our joys, our sorrows, our strengths and our weaknesses with them more than we do with our parents and siblings. So, we love them. Shah Rukh Khan said so famously in ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’, ‘Love is Friendship’. At first glance, it may seem just another stupid Bollywood quote but on closer analysis, we realize that the King Khan is right. Love is friendship. Only that that’s not all that’s love.

So, is sharing the same as love? Perhaps… Love may be sharing of a true and honest part of you.  I believe this is the most apt way to express the meaning of love. Even with your ‘love’, it’s this sharing that bonds you together. With your friends too, it’s the sharing that causes you to love them. The only difference is that with your ‘love’, you share everything and I do mean EVERYTHING.  And that level of love sure takes quite a lot of care, patience, understanding and adjustments. 

Love’s not the words you say,

Neither is it the gifts that you pay.

Neither a showoff nor a timepass,

Love’s pure and clear as glass.

Love’s not to be found here or there,

It is to be made with toil and tear.

Love’s not courtship…

Love’s not something that shifts…

Love’s the tallest that grows Friendship!             

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