February 22, 2008

Love/Friendship??

Posted in CET, Friendship, Love at 11:25 am by Krishnadev

            Ok, so we’ve been getting a lot of free hours in college lately and guys as we are, the lathiyadi often comes back to the same topic… Love, Friendship and how these 2 are related. When exactly do you love a person? When do you have a crush on someone? Is this crush just an infatuation? Is love and infatuation one and the same? Is love friendship? Or is friendship love? All of these are questions we asked each other a million times, answered to each other a billion times and still, we saw ourselves as confused as we were at the start, if not more.

Almost all fairy tales talk of how a handsome prince met a beautiful princess, fell in love with her at first sight and lived happily ever after. But is finding love exclusive to just the handsome and the beautiful?? Or is it the prince and princess part that makes them so lucky? I, for one person have never heard of a couple who’ve simply found love and ensured that their love is immortal. If at all anyone ‘finds’ love, it lasts just for a short period. And since it lasts only for a day/month/year, it’s not love. People may ‘love’ each other just to show in public but love’s not a showoff! If it is just for showoff, it definitely isn’t love. I’ve seen guys walking with their ‘loves’ and ‘crushes’ around the entire college campus, not just so that they could talk but also to put up a charade in front of others. To kinda show others, ‘See, this is my girl!’ It’s this fake affection that gives them away.

Love, for me, is not a showoff. Neither is it a pastime or a game. Love is not something you feel immediately upon seeing someone. It’s not something that’s hidden and waiting to be discovered. Neither does it spring out of nowhere nor does it simply happen between 2 people. Perhaps that’s why they use the phrase, ‘making love’. Because love is to be created, nurtured and brought up with hard work, a lot of adjustments and definitely infinite reserves of patience. And in this sense, college love is simply not love. In fact, even when you marry someone, you do not love her/him. Love’s perhaps that which exists between a grandpa and a grandma sitting in a park and sharing an ice cream. Or between the grandpa who has one hand on his walking stick and the other on the hand of his love, while crossing the road. Perhaps that is love. Something that has evolved over so many years of living together, adjusting, making mistakes, disagreeing, quarrelling, reconciling and again adjusting. Perhaps, that is love, when one can understand each and every emotion of one’s love. When you no longer need to tell each other, “I love you”. When you no longer need to buy gifts for Valentine ’s Day to reaffirm your sincerity. When the element of doubt and suspicion have completely been eliminated. Perhaps, that truly is LOVE.

But is that all that Love is? I mean, you do love your brother, your sister, your mother, your father and your friends! You love your parents and your siblings because they’re always there for you. Because they’re the ones you share everything with before anyone else. And friends… Friends are the people who you trust, who you believe and who are true, sincere and honest to you till the end. As we grow up, the group with which we share our most intimate secrets and stories switches from our relations to our friends. We share our joys, our sorrows, our strengths and our weaknesses with them more than we do with our parents and siblings. So, we love them. Shah Rukh Khan said so famously in ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’, ‘Love is Friendship’. At first glance, it may seem just another stupid Bollywood quote but on closer analysis, we realize that the King Khan is right. Love is friendship. Only that that’s not all that’s love.

So, is sharing the same as love? Perhaps… Love may be sharing of a true and honest part of you.  I believe this is the most apt way to express the meaning of love. Even with your ‘love’, it’s this sharing that bonds you together. With your friends too, it’s the sharing that causes you to love them. The only difference is that with your ‘love’, you share everything and I do mean EVERYTHING.  And that level of love sure takes quite a lot of care, patience, understanding and adjustments. 

Love’s not the words you say,

Neither is it the gifts that you pay.

Neither a showoff nor a timepass,

Love’s pure and clear as glass.

Love’s not to be found here or there,

It is to be made with toil and tear.

Love’s not courtship…

Love’s not something that shifts…

Love’s the tallest that grows Friendship!             

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August 31, 2007

The Greener Side

Posted in CET at 4:50 pm by Krishnadev

          It’s been 5 whole days since college closed for Onam. 5 FULL DAYS!! God!! And I’ve been here all  these 5 days having nothing to do except check out local TV listings, only to fling away the newspaper frustrated, and sit in front of the PC listening to songs that I’ve heard a million times. NO internet, NO computer games, NO books, NO one here to go out with, NO new film worth watching in the cinemas and the hardest one, NO SMSes (Thank you, guys at Airtel, for cancelling out all your schemes). Life’s so cruel to a 19 year old! And to think I really wished for this vacation.

                Occasional calls from friends are the only breather in this frustratingly boring existence. But there too, how much can you talk to someone on a daily basis? 10-15 minutes, surely not more than that! Even with 5 or 6 friends calling up a day, it consumes barely 1 hour a day. That leaves this poor soul with 23 goddamn hours to spend in solitude. 23 hours to mull over what to do with these 23 hours. 23 hours to curse myself for wishing this ruin upon me! 23 hours to pick up petty fights with bro. 23 hours to type down nonsense! 23 hours to ponder over the great question – SHOULDN’T I START STUDYING? (An idle mind is indeed the Devil’s workshop.) Even the goddess of sleep seems to have forsaken me as I sit here looking at the computer clock that reads 23:45 and still wondering what to do.

                And to think  I had such wonderful plans for Onam when college closed. Watch 2-3 movies per day, play football at school, cricket in college, stick to my diet, exercise, catch up with old friends, do some Onam shopping… I pretty much had everything planned. But again, as someone once said ‘Man proposes God disposes’. (I bet that guy was in such a predicament as mine.) I’ve done all good Onam movies (several ones more than once) and haven’t yet reached that level of desperation where I’d go and watch ‘Alibhai’ or ‘Nadiya Kollappetta Rathri’. (Suicide would figure higher than this on my list of preferences.) Infuriatingly, all of my friends at Pilani or Chennai or Trichy continue to be there as they, unlike me, don’t have Onam holidays. And even more infuriatingly, the majority here seems to think that no football is possible without that minority. (Talk about unity!!! Sheesh!)

Fed up with all this lazing around, I even went for ‘Onam shopping’ with mom to the Saras exhibition! THAT was definitely one huge mistake I made, second only to my career choice, Electrical Engineering. It was an exhibition alright – of how people could make such perfect fools of others. There were these rotten sticks with a fresh coat of polish which were being advertised as some exclusive aesthetic marvels. And quite surely, the price tag was exorbitantly disgusting. Inspite of all this, there were actually people who were buying these things. Other than the polished junk, Saras had on show latest advances in technology like the ‘Automatic Water Sprinkler’ (a pipe fitted with a paddle… WOW!!!), the ‘Instant Palada Mix’ (Tastes wonderful, just like cough syrup… I swear) and of course the ultramodern ‘Instant Lemon Juicer’ (Yeah… that thing we’ve been using since Christ’s time). Altogether, the experience was so wonderful that I ended up promising myself never to accompany mom for shopping.

                All these experiences have made me too bored even to exercise. I keep thinking ‘I’ll start first thing tomorrow morning. And then, there’ll be no stopping me. I’ll lose 50 kilos in 5 days!’ Quite predictably, I sleep till 10 in the morning and the first thing I do in the morning is go open the fridge door, take out leftovers of the previous day’s pizza and treat myself to a sumptuous feast. There go my plans for dieting and exercising. As Bridget Jones exhibits in the movie, food is really an idle, bored, frustrated mind’s true companion. Nowadays, I go to bed wondering what there’ll be for breakfast the next day. Come breakfast and I’ll be wondering what’s for lunch. Lunch sees me waiting for tea and tea sees me eager to dig into dinner. The process goes on. I remember Fr. Anikuzhy once saying something about Eating to Live and Living to Eat. I’m not sure which category I fall into right now. Food is the only activity I enjoy on a regular basis now. Perhaps, this is why my conscience turns a blind eye when I eat so heartily when I should be dieting. Then again, who cares?

                I’m not shifting the blame from myself for this quandary that I’m in. it’s just that I’m too riled that I thought I should permit myself atleast this small luxury. True, I waited for this vacation. I counted down each and every day till the start of this vacation. And now, here I am, just waiting for college to reopen. Holding on to this mundane existence till life goes back to normal, to college. Repeating to myself that just a few more days and I’ll be back where I belong, among my friends. And as I end this piece, an outlet of my exasperation, I pray to God, ‘PLEASE!! NO MORE VACATIONS!!’

Amen