February 22, 2008

Love/Friendship??

Posted in CET, Friendship, Love at 11:25 am by Krishnadev

            Ok, so we’ve been getting a lot of free hours in college lately and guys as we are, the lathiyadi often comes back to the same topic… Love, Friendship and how these 2 are related. When exactly do you love a person? When do you have a crush on someone? Is this crush just an infatuation? Is love and infatuation one and the same? Is love friendship? Or is friendship love? All of these are questions we asked each other a million times, answered to each other a billion times and still, we saw ourselves as confused as we were at the start, if not more.

Almost all fairy tales talk of how a handsome prince met a beautiful princess, fell in love with her at first sight and lived happily ever after. But is finding love exclusive to just the handsome and the beautiful?? Or is it the prince and princess part that makes them so lucky? I, for one person have never heard of a couple who’ve simply found love and ensured that their love is immortal. If at all anyone ‘finds’ love, it lasts just for a short period. And since it lasts only for a day/month/year, it’s not love. People may ‘love’ each other just to show in public but love’s not a showoff! If it is just for showoff, it definitely isn’t love. I’ve seen guys walking with their ‘loves’ and ‘crushes’ around the entire college campus, not just so that they could talk but also to put up a charade in front of others. To kinda show others, ‘See, this is my girl!’ It’s this fake affection that gives them away.

Love, for me, is not a showoff. Neither is it a pastime or a game. Love is not something you feel immediately upon seeing someone. It’s not something that’s hidden and waiting to be discovered. Neither does it spring out of nowhere nor does it simply happen between 2 people. Perhaps that’s why they use the phrase, ‘making love’. Because love is to be created, nurtured and brought up with hard work, a lot of adjustments and definitely infinite reserves of patience. And in this sense, college love is simply not love. In fact, even when you marry someone, you do not love her/him. Love’s perhaps that which exists between a grandpa and a grandma sitting in a park and sharing an ice cream. Or between the grandpa who has one hand on his walking stick and the other on the hand of his love, while crossing the road. Perhaps that is love. Something that has evolved over so many years of living together, adjusting, making mistakes, disagreeing, quarrelling, reconciling and again adjusting. Perhaps, that is love, when one can understand each and every emotion of one’s love. When you no longer need to tell each other, “I love you”. When you no longer need to buy gifts for Valentine ’s Day to reaffirm your sincerity. When the element of doubt and suspicion have completely been eliminated. Perhaps, that truly is LOVE.

But is that all that Love is? I mean, you do love your brother, your sister, your mother, your father and your friends! You love your parents and your siblings because they’re always there for you. Because they’re the ones you share everything with before anyone else. And friends… Friends are the people who you trust, who you believe and who are true, sincere and honest to you till the end. As we grow up, the group with which we share our most intimate secrets and stories switches from our relations to our friends. We share our joys, our sorrows, our strengths and our weaknesses with them more than we do with our parents and siblings. So, we love them. Shah Rukh Khan said so famously in ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’, ‘Love is Friendship’. At first glance, it may seem just another stupid Bollywood quote but on closer analysis, we realize that the King Khan is right. Love is friendship. Only that that’s not all that’s love.

So, is sharing the same as love? Perhaps… Love may be sharing of a true and honest part of you.  I believe this is the most apt way to express the meaning of love. Even with your ‘love’, it’s this sharing that bonds you together. With your friends too, it’s the sharing that causes you to love them. The only difference is that with your ‘love’, you share everything and I do mean EVERYTHING.  And that level of love sure takes quite a lot of care, patience, understanding and adjustments. 

Love’s not the words you say,

Neither is it the gifts that you pay.

Neither a showoff nor a timepass,

Love’s pure and clear as glass.

Love’s not to be found here or there,

It is to be made with toil and tear.

Love’s not courtship…

Love’s not something that shifts…

Love’s the tallest that grows Friendship!             

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13 Comments »

  1. sumesh said,

    gr8 article…the best thing in life is love,but love without practicality is the biggest mistake which happens to everyone…

  2. I just have one word to summarize the feelings I had after reading this post:
    Déjà vu

    I’ve been contemplating on this Love/friendship debate for long (ever since XEVFUAN :D) and crushed was born after that. You just elucidated the entire debate and even made a point with this post. Great work!

    ” I’ve seen guys walking with their ‘loves’ and ‘crushes’ around the entire college campus, not just so that they could talk but also to put up a charade in front of others.”
    I concur. It’s plain show-off. Some of their antics sometimes make you laugh, though… 🙂

    “Love, for me, is not a showoff. Neither is it a pastime or a game. Love is not something you feel immediately upon seeing someone. It’s not something that’s hidden and waiting to be discovered. Neither does it spring out of nowhere nor does it simply happen between 2 people. Perhaps that’s why they use the phrase, ‘making love’…”

    On the contrary, I refuse to believe that the points you’ve brought out (especially in the above paragraph) didn’t actually arise from during-the-break gossip! The hours-long thought-process you’ve put in to churn this out is evident in every single word you’ve written(or rather, typed). Another interesting revelation I’ve had after reading this is that you’ve some ‘bad’ experiences with someone of the other kind. You wouldn’t arrive at such a conclusion from third-person observation! B-) Ain’t I true?

    P.S. The old template of your blog was better.

  3. Prasanth said,

    God is Love. Love is God.
    God is fun. Love is fun.

  4. “പ്രണയം ദുഃഖമാണുണ്ണീ
    വിരഹമല്ലോ സുഖപ്രദം” എന്നല്ലേ മാഷെ…

    If you are single means no one will bother about you, you can do whatever at your will,….you can smoke, drink, vaayilnokkify, kathify …wat eva….

    And when you are on a relation……… sigh! …..

    (guess who am I, n do read my blog too.. 😀 ….comment me there if you recognized me)

  5. Krishnadev said,

    @ Hari
    Believe me buddy, it’s a conclusion from a 3rd person observation. Of course, I have had my own fair share of infactuations but was fortunate enough to realise their merit before I made a fool of myself. 🙂

    @ Njaan
    Kandupidichallo sir… 😉

    Its true that you cannot vaayinokkify smoke drink etc when you’re on a relation but you sure get loved if that relation is true. And I guess that’s the best feeling…

  6. Sanjana said,

    Well interpretd dear friend…i have been brooding over dese questions 4 d past one or two years…but for me right now,as king khan puts it..”PYAAR DOSTHI HAI”…luv in friendship never ends…

  7. sivaharsh said,

    Love is intangible and every person feels it.
    If some say love is friendship, it may just be his perspective, of course its debatable, i believe they coexist. Any way, we cannot judge the intensity of two peoples love just by there demeanor and definitely its not show off.

  8. Krishnadev said,

    @ Siva

    Love is not a showoff, I agree. But are all these showoffs we see around us love? I would say no!

  9. sivaharsh said,

    who knows , some may turnout to be love :D…
    we will c ..

  10. Krishnadev said,

    @ Siva
    ‘May turn out’ and ‘is right now’ are two phrases a world apart…

  11. sivaharsh said,

    know that, they are 🙂 but we hav to wait 4 a while to see.. may be not so long a few years /).. and as we know time change everything .. and only true love persists.

  12. indu said,

    hai i read it ,ialready heard that 2peru thammil ishtamanenkil,it is not essential 2 say ILUor will u marry me, athu parasparam parayathae manasilakenda karyamanu .and as u said most of campus luvs r simply show off ,i”m a person hu likes luv,but never like that i seen around me!!!!1

  13. n i t i n said,

    so true bhai…so true…

    but then Love can be..well…in various shapes and sizes.
    Chatting with a girl or hanging out with her in public doesnt neccessarily mean you are showing off…maybe you feel kinda secure from your insides..and you get a feeling of completion when you have her with you to share your thoughts. But that depends upon each person’s POV, no? And love aint only this either…

    Sometimes you may even fail to realise its love. When you have a comfy zone with her, you dont often see how a relationship will progress. I say she maybe confused too. A guy always thinks that the girl thinks the same way…and even science has proved that the way of thinking is way different. I am very much confused too. I never ever thought it was this hard!!

    I am too young to say this and to launch any other opinion…so I stop here…


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